Justin Timbol (he/him) is a Filipino-Canadian writer from Mississauga, Ontario. His work has been longlisted for the 2021 CBC Poetry Prize and shortlisted for CV2′s Foster Poetry Prize. His poems have appeared most recently in Vallum, CV2, Ricepaper Magazine, and The Maynard. He has recently graduated from the Humber School for Writers.
“‘If You Were Closer I Could Touch You’ gets its title and inspiration from Stan Rogal’s ‘Postcard from Home’ (appearing in Imaginary Museum, 1993), with an additional reference to the Alexander Biggs’ song ‘Tidal Wave.'”
Sunset splits your windshield
divides your gaze into halves of the horizon.
Above glimmers like golden hour
while Alexander Biggs sings
the pull of a distant coming moon.
Below, you left the water with
a prayer in your mother tongue
and what’s left of your aunt.
I hold a palm of water in the ocean
and all I see is you
your chest rising full and empty
full once more.
I press an ear to the ocean
and all I hear is the ocean.
…
Language is too imperfect
to hold on to, beautifully so
I wish only to hear you
speak it again and again
into my chest your ngai
my sharp breath pulls
you closer further from
your homeland
where the english pains
your mother to swallow,
your father’s accent
playing gatekeeper
to westernization.
I pour a palm of you into the ocean
if you were closer I could touch you
there is nothing here for me
I press my ear to the ocean
and all I hear is the cries
of our ancestors
lost to me briefly
between white noise and cresting water.
At dinner your mother plays
critic to my attempts at speaking
deu ne lou fing
your father laughs, wants to say more
but mostly just smiles and nods.
